Lunacy Fringe

[x.Wolf.x]

songs used for inspiration:
Can You Breathe?- The Ride
Empty With You- The Used
Lunacy Fringe- The Used <--lyrics used in this post.

Wake up
My love
Never thought you'd make me, break me
Now I'm up, from below
Such a brilliant star you are
And will your love keep burning baby
Burn a hole right through my eyes;
You saw the short times feel like no time
I thought you'd oughta know

the air was suffocating. not counting the being near the top of a mountain and the dense fog that covered her surroundings like a thick quilt, breathing in general had become a task for autumn. she should be sleeping right now; she would have to be up and ready to move in few hours and yet...she couldn't bring herself to close her eyes. a full week has past since she had left peter standing in the bus station. she could have tried to get the bus driver to stop when she seen him crash through the trees but her throat had suddenly become raw and speech was a near impossiblity. her mind had already written the whole thing off as being 'better this way'- it was for the best that she didn't say good-bye to peter because she wasn't sure she would even have the strength to return to the bus after that.

a full week since she watched him disappear over the hill as
the bus drew away from the station. nearly a full week since the last time autumn could sleep. everytime she would finally fall asleep, she would dream...and if she would dream...it would be of peter. always of peter. not the bad peter, but the good peter. it was like she was reliving some of her fondest memories and as well as creating her own. no matter how each dream started, they always ended the same. they would be standing there, hearts bared and ready to admit everything and the entire army of both human and vampire crash into the clearing, drowning out either's confession. when the army left, peter lay dead by his father's hand...autumn laying a few feet away dying.

and then she'd wake up panting, fear shining in her gaze.

I'm so far gone now
I've been running on empty
I'm so far gone now
Do you wanna take me on?

Do you wanna take me on?

for this, she refused to sleep. though she knew it would eventually sap her remaining strength, she couldn't seem to care. she couldn't watch peter die again. glaring at the her makeshift roof, she sighed agian. she would probably feel a lot better off if she would have just bucked up and told peter how she felt instead of sneaking away like some criminal in the middle of the night....or in her case really early in the morning. she owed him a good-bye at the very least, and yet she disappeared (like a ninja).

after the war, if she survived, she would have to find peter and apologize for everything. that is, if she could even find him she though, smirking now. peter was difficult to find when he didn't care if he was found, if he was trying to hide it might be next to impossible for her to actually tack him down. a low rumbling brought her from her thoughts. frowning now, autumn stared down at the source of the sound- her stomach. along with skipping out on sleeping, autumn hadn't been eating that well either. it was probably the lack of sleep that made her feel sick to her stomach everytime she went to eat...or it could be the fact that she just wasn't used to the military foods, either way she was beginning to resemble the girls in the beauty magazines.

scowling again, autumn turned over to her side. she hated waiting for morning to come, especially when she couldn't sleep. she tried to force her mind to clear completely, however...her thoughts turned to peter again. they always did. forcing her eyes to close again, she let the memories flood her mind.....

Do
Do you
Do you know?
Do you know how long I've waited
To look up from below?
Just to find someone like you,
And will your love light burn me baby,
Burn a hole right through my heart
I think I might just trust you maybe
But I'm not sure
Im not sure I wanna know

[xXPeterxX]

inspiration – on my own by the used

Move. Move. Go. Keep going. Keep moving. Faster. Faster! No. Quieter. Slow down. No. Can’t slow down. Have to keep moving. Find them. Find her. Where is she? Where? Don’t stop. Keep moving.

Peter kept repeating this in his head. His chest felt hollow as he ran. He took slow, even breaths, trying to make as little noise as possible. He had to find Autumn. He had to save her. He’d thought he could ignore it. He’d thought that after Cassan– Katili’s attack, after the hospital and the bus station, he could forget. He could let her die. After all, what could he do?

Join the army? Follow behind her and wait for something to hurt her so he could whisk her away and save her life? Again?

As if he’d get past basic. Someone would notice. Someone would realize that something wasn’t right with Peter, and then they’d go to the king. And once the king knew, it wouldn’t be long before everyone did… including Rasputin.

Even thinking his father’s name stirred the bile in Peter’s cavernous stomach.

Don’t think. he told himself. Just run. Run quietly. Silently. Faster. Faster now. Where are they? Peter was trying to remain inconspicuous. He needed to find Autumn’s camp. It had to be close by. He could smell the human soldiers. He could hear them breathing. And now he could see. He saw pointed shapes through the opening in the trees. They must be tents.

He slowed down now, not wanting to alert anyone who might be watching of his presence. The half-breed slipped up to the edge of the trees, lowering himself into a crouch and creeping forward. All he could hear now was breathing and snoring. There didn’t appear to be any signs of a struggle. Peter knew that that didn’t mean something wasn’t happening. That didn’t mean Autumn wasn’t in danger. It could be Katili. It could be one of Rasputin’s assassins. They could slip in just as unnoticeably as Peter had. They could be at her throat right now, and no one would have a clue…

He had to find her. Which tent was hers? He crept up to the tent closest to him. He could make out the shape of a sleeping body inside though the thin canvas. The form was too large to be Autumn. The next one he tried was the right size, but the breathing pattern wasn’t right. Peter had grown accustomed to hearing Autumn’s rhythmic breathing as she slept. He’d often found it easy to doze off himself if he focused on it alone.

Three tents later, Peter’s urgent frustration was to the point where he wanted to stand up and scream her name. Autumn, where are you?! He began peeking through the little openings in the tents, suddenly doubting himself. If Autumn was in trouble like Pride said, what were the chances she’d be sleeping soundly? She wouldn’t be breathing as she did when she slept if that were the case. She might not be breathing at all…

Little did Peter know, he was closer to Autumn than he thought.






x flashback x

There was so much noise. Too much, too loud, and all around him. Peter tried again to close his eyes and just relax, but it was proving to be impossible. He could hear everything. Leaves danced in the barely perceptible breeze, and night crawlers scuttled through the unkempt grass in search of food. A bat fluttered somewhere overhead in pursuit of buzzing little mosquitoes. He could hear it all.

Why?

Usually, during the rare times he actually tried to sleep instead of just resting, he could shut down pretty fast. It was like flipping a switch. Of course, he was always aware. How could he not be? He always slept with one eye open, figuratively speaking. But this time was different. Where he could usually tune out the natural sounds around him and ease into unconsciousness, tonight he couldn’t. There was something keeping him awake.

It had been like this the past few days. After he’d left the bus station, he went back to where camp had been set up. He went silently, unsure what to expect. Would Katili still be there? Was she dead? Peter hadn’t cared to check when he’d rushed Autumn out of there to find a hospital.

She wasn’t there, which meant she was still alive somewhere. Peachy. he thought sarcastically to himself as he picked through what was left of the campsite. He took only what he needed, which were the things that he’d had originally, before Katili had tricked him into looking after her. Donning his cloak, he set off to find a new site. He had to move far, and he tried to move swiftly. After two days, he finally stopped and settled into a tiny clearing far, far away from any place he’d ever stayed before. By then, his energy was nearly drained. That had been his first restless night.

Three days later, it didn’t matter how long or how hard he tried, Peter could not sleep. He lay curled on his side, his cloak balled up beneath his head. It was like he was super aware of everything around him. Every noise was magnified. It made him paranoid. But why? Why couldn’t he sleep?

Just then, the boy heard a low gurgling sound that had become familiar in the past week. It was his stomach. Along with being unable to sleep, Peter couldn’t eat. He tried. He tried to eat what little he’d salvaged of his supplies from the last camp, but nothing would go down. His body was simply refusing the food. What little he did eat he could barely keep down. He didn’t feel hungry, but his grumbling stomach always made it painfully clear that it needed substance. He’d already lost an incredible amount of weight while Autumn had been in the hospital, but now he was even thinner, if that were possible. Peter could only imagine that he must be sick in a way that only he could be. Perhaps neglecting nutrition during Autumn’s stay in the hospital had caused something to unhitch inside him. There was no way to know for sure, because as far as Peter knew, he was his own kind. He could very well get sick in a way that nobody else could.

Some sort of sickness that made him lose sleep, made it hard to eat, maybe even enhanced his extrasensory abilities. It also made his chest feel hollow, as if it were empty. It drained color from the world around him. Everything seemed… bland. His eyes often seemed at half mast, as if he were tired or bored. It also made his heart ache. It made him feel like he was missing something. He was missing… he missed…

He missed Autumn.

Even though the world seemed too loud at the moment, it was also too quiet without her. He wished… what? He didn’t know. He rolled onto his back, putting his hands behind his head, and sighed, looking up at the dark, star-filled sky. He remembered doing this with Autumn. He remembered the first time. It seemed so long ago.

Swish.

That wasn’t a natural sound.

Crack.

Peter leapt up quickly, already on the defense. Then something crashed through the trees in front of him. “Peter!”

“Pride?”

[x.Wolf.x]

songs used for inspiration:
with me tonight- the used <--lyrics used in this post.
smother me- the used

The way I broke your heart very literally
This ghost haunts me more than it should be
I'm not gonna walk away or turn my head in shame
I never thought it could kill me
A clean slate, one more day further away

she hadn't quite fallen asleep yet, though her eyes were closed and her breathing finally evened out a bit- but she wasn't sleeping. she had been in the middle of debating on whether she should get up and get breakfast or if she should force herself to sleep in that last few hours before daybreak when she first heard it- the soft displacement of dirt.

no. you're right, no human should even be able to her the soft shifting of dirt under one's weight- but autumn was a trained assassin and held a very high price on her head...she had learned early on about catching small glimpses of sound like this. the rough breathing of someone new, the pause in the almost feather-light footsteps as if the intruder had paused in search of something and then continued on his (or her or its) way.

she lay perfectly still, her breathing becoming so light that it was nearly impossible to hear...unless the intruder was a vampire of course and in that case, she wasn't fooling anybody.

I want you, you don't want me
My mistake for wasting yours and mine
I want you, but will you stay
With me today?
With me today?

as quick as a snake coiled and ready to attack, she drew her sword from underneath her cot. not her infamous battle sword, but the smaller, more lithe one she used in most of her assassinations. she lay perfectly still for another moment as she waited for the intruder pass by her tent, completely unaware that there was a deadly snake hiding in the darkness.

grinning as the figure paused by her tent and then continued, autumn silently climbed to her feet. she matched her footsteps perfectly with the lone stranger's outside of her tent- as his foot landed...so did hers. she did this until she was standing just outside of her tent, staring at the intruders back.

she could tell now that he was in fact, a male...and from the looks of the bone-thin creature, he was either a vampire or a vampire's slave. for a moment, confusion washed over her-if this creature is a vampire then why pass by her tent if he could hear her breathing? every vampire knew autumn was the general and one of the last ones left...so why pass by the chance to kill her? shaking her head, she readied her blade.

Just let me make some time to take it back a little
The way you smile shines the heavens above me (heavens above me)
Never going to let you go, I want you all the time
I gotta prove you can trust me
A clean slate, one more day further away

if lightning could strike right at the moment, autumn probably would have been faster. in one quick motion, she closed the distance between her and the intruder, her blade now poised at peter's throat. she now stood at his back, her blade keeping him from escaping. drawing in a deep breath to question the stranger, autumn noticed a scent that she had become almost too familiar with the last few months....peter.

confusion clouded her thoughts, vanishing any of her attempts to clear her mind. why was he here? was something wrong? "p-peter?" his name was a soft whisper on her lips, though it sounded of a mixture of both disbelief and a hint of....hope. she was actually hoping that it was peter. dropping her sword to her side, she staggered back a few steps.

he didn't need to say anything to confirm her believe...she was sure now that she hadn't been mistaken. disbelief still shone in her gaze, then underneath that was a twinge of anger. obviously, autumn hadn't been the only one to neglect sleep and food. however, peter looked far worse than she, and she would have to guess that was because he had hardly slept since she has in the hospital. that thought brought a twinge of guilt as well. she probably should have seen to it that peter was healthy before she left him alone again. "peter. what. i mean. how....." she was stumbling for something to say, anything to prove that this wasn't a stupid dream...that she wouldn't have to watch him die again. "i..." wait just a second.

she was standing in the middle of the military's camp wearing nothing but a black tank top, cargo shorts and her dog tags and not to mention she was talking to a stranger that nearly resembled a vampire in his current state. if anyone were to hear them and look outside, she could be tried for treason. scowling at the thought, she grabbed peter's arm and dragged him into her tent.

I want you, you don't want me
My mistake for wasting yours and mine
I want you, but will you stay
With me today?
With me today?

after a moment of silence, she threw her weapon on her bed and stood in front of peter with her arms crossed over her chest. "why are you here?" she nearly slapped herself the moment that came out. though it was exactly what she wanted to know, it came out as blunt and probably a bit stand offish. ".....i mean don't get me wrong, it's good to see you and all but why now? why here? and why in the middle of the damned night?" she added on.

she didn't wait for an answer to her first statements and questions, the fact that peter looked like he had one foot in the grave had autumn both concerned and angry with him. katili was still out there, autumn knew she didn't kill her when she hit her. katili could easily try and hunt peter down again, so why was he neglecting something that could give him strength? scowling at peter again, autumn added "and whats this?...." she motioned to peter's body "....trying out for the role of a zombie are we?" she added, the old sarcasm she saved for only peter (and sometimes the seven deadliest) crept into her voice.

she had no room to talk, she knew that. she hadn't missed the fact that she had been dropping weight and that she had the beginning of dark rings around her eyes- but that wasn't the point. the point was, in her eyes, peter was facing more danger than she was at the moment and he shouldn't be wasting away like that. if she hadn't been so serious on the fact that peter was in such shape, she probably would have grinned at the fact that she sounded like a girlfriend lecturing her boyfriend on his health.

"i mean seriously. zombies are stupid creatures, slow moving, easy to kill and they smell too. do you really want to end up like that?" she questioned, her signature smirk slowly creaping across her lips as she waited for peter's answer.

I need you, you don't need me
When you are low, I am not okay
I want you, but will you stay
With me today?
With me today?
With me today?
With me today?

A clean slate, one more day further away, yeah

I want you, you don't want me
My mistake for wasting yours and mine
I want you, but will you stay
With me today?
With me today?

I need you, 'cause you need me
When you are low, I am not okay
I want you, but will you stay
With me today?
With me today?
With me today?
With me today?

[xXPeterxX]

Not here. She’s not in this one. Peter thought to himself, trying to keep his mind busy as he moved from tent to tent. He should have realized that he was practically right on top of Autumn. Were he able to look back at this moment in time, he might have kicked himself. But it didn’t matter now. Peter straightened up for a second, his fingers barely brushing away the thin opening of the tent in front of him. Just another hulking soldier huddled under a mass of blankets. The boy tried not to let himself feel the disappointment squeeze his heart.

Pride said she was here. She’s here somewhere. You’ve just got to find the right – Peter’s thoughts were broken off by a strange feeling that overtook him. He was being watched. He let his pupils dilate as far as they could so his eyes were nearly completely black with just a tiny sliver of a ring of grey around them. He focused on using his natural senses, and even stretched his mind out to touch his sixth sense. He heard a movement behind him. He wasn’t sure if it was real or if he merely imagined it, but he could almost feel the movement behind him. Peter rarely resorted to this, but he could feel his lips peeling back over his teeth in a snarl, exposing his fangs. And then he smelled her.

Autumn?

In that second of hesitation, his attacker had pressed a blade to his throat. His whole body went rigid, ready to turn and snap the bold assailant’s neck, when a familiar voice whispered in his ear. “P-Peter?” The sword dropped away from his throat. Peter took a moment to hide his fangs and let his pupils revert to their normal size before he turned around to face her.

It was her alright. She looked stunned. She also looked tired… and thin. Autumn, what have you done to yourself? he couldn’t help but think. And then he realized how hypocritical he sounded. Peter could feel the dark circles around his eyes, and his ribs protruded conspicuously even through his thin sweater. ”Peter? What – I mean… how… I…” She stopped, looking around. There was no mistaking the sudden concern on her face. Before he could protest, she grabbed his arm in a bruising grip and yanked him into the tent behind her. She was surprisingly strong for such a small creature.

He stumbled backwards a few steps before regaining his balance. He looked up at her again, his eyebrows drawn together. Now that he’d found Autumn, and it was obvious that she wasn’t in any real danger as Pride had claimed she was, he didn’t know what to say, so he disguised his uncertainty with an emotionless mask.

She threw her weapon onto the cot beside him and folded her arms over her chest, looking at him with disapproval in her crimson eyes ”Why are you here?” she snapped, and then seemed to realize her mistake. ”I mean, don’t get me wrong. It’s good to see you and all,” Was it? ”But why now? Why here? And why in the middle of the damned night?” Peter opened his mouth to reply, but she was already continuing. ”And what’s this?” Her eyes skimmed his body. Peter looked down self-consciously. He’d retained the muscle in his upper body, but from her point of view, he must have looked as though he’d lost every ounce of body fat.

Autumn kept talking, ranting now about zombies and sounding more than ever like her old self again, but not quite the same. There was something different lurking beneath her sarcasm. It almost sounded like… concern? ”Autumn.” he tried to interject, but she ignored him. ”Autumn.” he tried again, a little louder. He didn’t want to raise his voice too much though, because if anyone were to discover him here… Peter didn’t want to think about what might happen if they were found. ”Autumn!” he whispered harshly one last time, reaching out to grab her wrists.

There was a smirk on her face. The one that Peter knew all too well. He took a long, hard look at her, not really sure what he was searching for. ”I’m… I’m fine, Autumn. Honestly. I’ve just been…” What did he say now? That he was sick? That would only infuriate her. And besides, he didn’t know if that was it at all, so he could just be getting her mad at him for nothing. He didn’t want her to be angry at him. Not when they had such little time left. ”And anyway, look who’s talking.” He released one of her wrists to trace the shadow beneath one of her eyes gently with his thumb, his fingers brushing her temple.

After a few moments, he spoke again, still feeling uneasy. ”Pride… he said that… he said you were in danger. He told me that you needed help.” Peter smirked a little bit here. ”He practically begged me to come save you.” he exaggerated. ”For a ghost, he’s awfully sentimental about you, you know.”

[x.Wolf.x]

song used: Painting Flowers- All Time Low <--lyrics used in this post
Wait for Me- Theory of a Deadman.
Far Away- Nickleback

Strange maze, what is this place?
I hear voices over my shoulders.
Nothing's making sense at all.
Wonder, why do we race?
And every day we're running in circles.
Such a funny way to fall.
Try to open up my eyes
I'm hopin' for the chance to make it alright.

she would have continued on her ranting and raving if it hadn't been for peter's interjection. though he had probably tried to stop her before, she just continued right over him...just like the old days. she couldn't hide the gasp that escaped her lips as peter took ahold of her wrists, though the gasp could have been written off as an exclamation of surprise- it wasn't surprise at peter's sudden outburst...it was of the shock wave that crashed through her body the moment peter's skin came in contact with hers. it had been that way for awhile, she noted, but she thought it was something that would have disappeared when she was finally separated from him. obviously, she had been wrong.

blinking a few times to clear her confusion, she focused on what peter had to say. he was fine? he didn't look fine. her brows furrowed at this, though she held her tongue. she didn't even think she could say anything, she didn't want to ruin this moment-after all it would end all too soon anyways. he hadn't finished his explanation. autumn made a mental note of that, her scowl slowly creeping back into her expression. obviously, whatever peter was going through...it was affecting him a lot more than he was willing to admit at the moment. or maybe he was dying. her enormous imagination started spitting out more reasons as to why he wouldn't finish explaining this to her. she had to grind her teeth to keep herself from demanding an answer from him....whatever it was, he'd tell her when he was ready, if he ever was.

for a moment, she almost laughed at herself and her whole 'let peter tell me when he's ready' attitude. sometimes she felt as if peter had turned her entire personality around. she thought she couldn't change for anyone, and peter had proved her wrong again.

When I wake up
The dream isn't done
I wanna see your face and know I made it home.
If nothing is true
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you.
Woah.

'And anyway, look who’s talking.' she knew he was right, she hadn't been the poster child for taking care of one's self lately either. her protest had been in the making when peter made all of her thoughts come to screeching halt...again, the boy had a talent for ending her protests. his touch felt warm on her skin, though it should have been the opposite since peter was half vampire and all.

her eyes fluttered shut, though it was for a mixture of things. she wanted to freeze this moment in time, to stay here in the silence of the night. also, she was restraining her next moves. she wanted nothing more than to take that half a step forward and rest her head on his shoulder. she wanted to be closer, so much closer than she was now. she also closed her eyes to hide her pain. she knew the moment wouldn't last, and soon she would have to say goodbye to peter once again.

if only there was more time. another way. if the world was at peace....if only there was something she could do. she wanted to tell him, to explain that she didn't want this to end...that she wanted to be like this forever- but she knew that was impossible. impossible because she was being shipped away soon. because she was going to kill his father. because...because he probably didn't feel the same way she did. autumn couldn't face peter's rejection.

Throw my cards, give you my heart.
Wish we could start all over.
Nothing's making sense at all.
Try to open up my eyes,
I'm hopin' for a chance to make it alright.

she opened her eyes, though almost reluctantly when peter started speaking again. pride? so it was pride that had sent peter sneaking around the camp like some assassin in the middle of the night. sighing, she shook her head "and since when did pride become a source for information?" she drawled, glad to have this conversation to distract herself from the turmoil of her thoughts. though, she made a note to kick pride in the shins for this. "of course he is, without me, pride doesn't have anybody left to torture and annoy." her smirk making another appearance "after all, he can't annoy you very much because you just punch him in the face."

she couldn't help the next comment either, "and everybody knows how much you love punching helpless things. like trees." her smirk turning into a very wicked looking smile. of course autumn couldn't let peter live that down.

"so..." now came the part of the conversation that she wished she could just avoid all together. her gaze falling to the ground, another attempt to hide the chaos of emotions that was flooding her gaze now. "now that you see that i'm perfectly fine and in no need of rescuing.....this time......." she bit her lip that was threatening quiver with her uncertainty "what do you plan on doing now?" she had to bite her lip again in order to keep herself from asking...no....begging him to stay, if only for tonight. oh. screw this.

When I wake up
The dream isn't done
I wanna see your face and know I made it home.
If nothing is true
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you.
I am still painting flowers for you.

"i mean, it is a long way back to camp. assuming you moved it, it could be even longer than before......." it was a long shot, but autumn couldn't lose peter already. ".......and its not like the camp is going to do anything tomorrow........." she felt like a complete idiot for even asking. peter had better things to do...like stalk his way through the woods back at home...and scaring locals in the village...and stealing food.

her crimson gaze finally rising from the ground to meet with peter, the chaos of emotions lurking beneath her gaze making her crimson gaze seem to almost glow in the dark light of the tent. "and you-.......we.....need to eat something right?.." she wasn't letting him leave without eating something, and perhaps a nap. "there's a local bar at the base of the mountain, we can grab a bite there....if...............................if you want. then you can be on your marry way, terrorizing the forest again." another tree punching comment. it was a good thing that she saved this quipping for only peter because it probably would have gotten herself punched in the face by her solders. grinning again, she added, "c'mon....you know you wanna....."

(I heard everything you said. I don't wanna lose my head.)

When I wake up
The dream isn't done
I wanna see your face and know I made it home.
If nothing is true
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you.
I am still painting flowers for you.
I am still painting flowers for you.

[xXPeterxX]

inspiration - i swear this time i mean it by mayday parade

The air was practically fizzling with electricity. Peter could feel it in his fingers as they lingered on Autumn’s face. They were standing so close. It brought back all those feelings that had clouded Peter’s mind in the hospital. Just now, with her eyes closed, Autumn looked so small and fragile, and… vulnerable. Autumn had looked many things before. Angry. Sad. Mischievous. Hurt. But never vulnerable. Even at the brink of death, she’d never looked so… so openly somber. It was as if he could see into her now. The confusion, the longing, the sorrow. Maybe he wasn’t seeing Autumn at all. Maybe he was seeing what he felt himself, because these were the things he was feeling so strongly at that moment in time.

There seemed to be a magnetic-like pull between them. He wanted to be closer to her. He wanted to hold her, not to protect her – because God knows Autumn didn’t need protection from anyone or anything, no matter what her track record said – but simply to hold her in his arms and never let go. She still hadn’t open her eyes yet, and his trailed down to her lips. He felt a strong urge, not a pull this time, but more like someone was pushing him, to kiss her. Oh, he wanted to. They were already so close. All he needed to do was lean down a bit…

His thoughts lingered there. He’d almost decided to do it when Autumn spoke again, breaking the silence and the spell that seemed to have been cast over Peter.

Of course he couldn’t kiss her. His hand dropped to his side again, and he released his hold on her wrist. She was his friend, but nothing more. She could never feel the same about him as he felt about her. He was, after all, his father’s son.

Something inside him seemed to drop as Autumn continued on. “And everybody knows how much you like punching helpless things, like trees.” One corner of Peter’s lips turned up in a lopsided smile despite himself. “Well I’d hardly call Pride helpless.” he murmured, remembering to keep his voice low so as not to wake any of the sleeping soldiers. The girl went on, a strange uncertainty hindering her voice. Before he could reply, she interjected in a hurried manner. Peter marveled at how odd it was that he could stand this usually annoying quality. But it was Autumn. Simply Autumn. He guessed that that must be why he was able to patiently wait her out rather than imagining the many different ways he could strangle her. How… odd.

Wait, was she… no. She wasn’t. It was just her being… her. Protective. Concerned about his health. And, he thought to himself, it’s a way to make sure she eats something herself. It was obvious that she needed some sort of nourishment, especially if she would soon be fighting–. He let the thought trail off. He couldn’t think about that. He forced himself to focus on what Autumn was saying now. She was looking at him from under her eyelashes, pulling her best innocent “puppy dog” face. “C’mon... You know you wanna!”

He did. That much as true. He didn’t want to leave. He wanted just a little more time with her, and here she was, giving him the opportunity. But was it really the smart thing to do? He should leave, now. He shouldn’t tempt himself, but he couldn’t help it. He found himself slowly nodding. “Sure. Yeah. But,” Peter decided to kill two birds with one stone. “After we do, you need sleep.” He said this with conviction, unbending, and he looked her straight in the eye, grey meeting crimson, to make sure it got through.

It took every ounce of will power in his body not pull her closer and kiss her.

[x.Wolf.x]

video/song used: We Don't Have to Look Back Now- Puddle of Mudd (by the way. just got home from their concert. I <3 them. =D )
CLICK HERE!!!!!

she couldn't help it, at peter's lopsided smile, her face lit up with a bright smile of her own. she loved making peter smile, even if it took forever and it was a rare occasion. still smiling, she shook her head in protest after peter had said his comment on pride. "i would. he's helpless. without us to annoy, the poor creature would be completely lost." her smiling turning brighter after her own comment. if pride were here...he would have punched either of them in the face, or at least made a scene stomping out of the tent in his false fury. if only pride could hear them now.......

little did either of them know, pride was just outside of autumn's tent. though he hid himself from eyesight, from any eyesight, he could hear what the two of them where saying perfectly. his revenge plot began churning in his head the moment autumn had mentioned the bar. grinning, he disappeared completely, only to reappear inside the bar that autumn had mentioned. not only would he loosen the two of them up, he would have a hell of a time doing it.....

as peter nodded, finally agreeing to go grab something to eat at the local bar, she smiled again. she had to force the joy, the bliss, to stay completely hidden beneath her somber gaze. of course, she couldn't let peter know how happy he had just made her by agreeing to stay with her...if only for a little longer.

in fact, she found that she almost let out a small 'squee' of excitement. such a normal teenage reaction to moments like these....and not even autumn was safe from its spell. she wanted nothing more than to jump forward and wrap peter in a giant hug, and explain just how much it meant to her that he was willing to stay for awhile longer. lost in her moment of joy, she nearly missed peter's ultimatum.

'..After we do, you need sleep...' her smile faltered at that. for a moment, she stood in silence- no reaction to what he had just said, though inside she was screaming. her gaze fell to the ground for a moment before turning it back on peter, her thoughts turning to planning now. slowly, she gave a tiny...almost reluctant...nod.

however, she made herself a mental note as she agreed to his statement. she couldn't allow herself to fall asleep. no matter what, she couldn't allow herself to sleep. if she fell asleep, peter would steal away in the middle of the night and she would wake up alone. she wanted a goodbye this time. a real one, thus, she couldn't allow herself to sleep. "however, if i'm being forced to sleep...so are you." she added, her eyes narrowing almost as if she was warning him against challenging this. maybe she should ask him to stay. the thought was banished almost as fast as it popped into her head. asking peter to stay would hint at her emotions. and assuming peter felt like every other guy did when it came to girls and their emotions.....her emotions would give him a reason to leave faster.

which brings up another question- could autumn let peter go when it came time? could she really let him leave? pondering this, she grinned at peter. brushing past him, she stepped outside. checking to see if any of the soldiers had been disturbed from their sleep, she took a deep breath. in her moment alone, she turned her face to the moon and the stars, drinking in the beauty of the night. her gaze dancing with the stars, she turned back to the sea of tents before her- not bothering to turn and see if peter had stepped from the tent or not "coast is clear."

she waited a few more seconds, her mind still churning over the two questions she had just asked herself. absently, she began chewing on her bottom lip as she scanned the surroundings one more time. lucky for them, the soldiers had been worn out in the training exercises today. still chewing on her bottom lip, she turned back to face peter.

for a moment, she said nothing, just stared at peter thoughtfully while chewing on her lip- and completely oblivious that she was doing it. finally snapping out of it, she nodded toward the path that lead into town. a mischievous smile creeping across her lips. "i'll race you on....three."

"one....two-" she didn't wait for three, she took off the second she finished saying the second number. laughing, she sped up. she couldn't look back to see if peter would bother to play in her game or not...simply because if he had decided to, he would be catching up any moment now. autumn knew peter was a lot faster than her, but she had to lighten the mood....and running helped her think. finally, she processed the answer carefully. there might be a smile on autumns face, and she might be laughing, but for one that listened carefully...there was sorrow lurking just beneath the laugh's surface.

she could let peter go when she had to. she could let him leave. but only because she had to. she also vowed to find peter after the war and tell him everything. she would tell him how much she loved him, even if she hadn't been strong enough to say it now. even if he didn't feel the same way about her, she would shrug, take it like a punch and walk away.....even if it killed her.

[xXPeterxX]

inspiration – gravity by sara bareilles (lyrics), eclipse by howard shore (<--- link), (random others I was listening to for parts of the post) lost by anouk, cut by plumb, river flows in you by yiruma, tightrope by paul freeman, smile by charlie chaplin, skin by natalie merchant

something always brings me back to you
it never takes too long
no matter what i say or do
i still feel you here ‘til the moment i’m gone

His cold hands clenched and unclenched into fists again and again, as if he were keeping his hands busy while he waited for her answer. He was silently willing her to agree. The boy wasn’t sure if he could leave her in this unhealthy state without going crazy with guilt. As if that’ll matter in a week or two’s time, a bitter voice chimed in his head. He shook the thought away, angry with himself for bringing it up. He wasn’t going to think about that. He couldn’t. Not without the risk of being overwhelmed with fury and kidnapping Autumn, carrying her away into the night and never letting her out of his sight, all to make sure she wouldn’t fight this battle. All to make sure she wouldn’t get killed, especially not at his hands. But he couldn't do that, because then Autumn would hate him. She wouldn’t appreciate his trying to protect her from “the inevitable.” Peter didn’t know if he could stand knowing Autumn hated him, even for just a short amount of time.

When did things get so screwed up? When did things start to change? He’d been fine until she came along. He went where ever he wanted, did whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. Nothing held him back. He never worried about anything. Not even himself. Yes, life had been simple. Life had been easy.

But he’d been miserable.

you hold me without touch
you keep me without chains
i never wanted anything so much
than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

He’d hated his life. Mostly because he hated himself. He was even worse a monster than his father or any of his father’s minions. Not a human, not a vampire. What the hell right did he have to even exist?

At least, that’s what he’d thought. Until he'd met Autumn.

She’d taught him how to live again. She had shown him that he wasn’t the monster he’d thought he was. She had set him free, and then snatched it away in the same moment. He’d fallen in love with her… Why had it taken so long for him to realize it? Peter was in love with Autumn. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and never let go. The world could go up in flames around them, it could crumble and fall, and he would continue to hold her, untouchable, until he finally fell. Only then would he let her go, and only so she could save herself.

But none of that mattered anymore.

you loved me cause i’m fragile
when i thought that i was strong
but you touch me for a little while
and all my fragile strength is gone

Peter could never tell Autumn how he felt. She could never feel the same way about him. He thought about the night they’d shared in her hospital room. He saw their fingers, intertwined. His large hands white and cold and strong; her hands small, fragile, warm. She could never love him. He was a vampire. His kind were responsible for her entire life. Her mother’s death; her father’s betrayal; her childhood growing up in the army, fighting battle after battle until finally she could no longer fight. It was her life’s mission to destroy the very thing that he was, and it was only a matter of time.

And then she would die.

i live here one my knees
as i try to make you see
that you’re everything i think i need
here on the ground

He was so lost that Peter nearly missed Autumn’s compliance. She nodded, looking none too happy about it. Her blonde hair fell forward, into her face, as she nodded. The boy’s hand twitched, wanting to brush it away, but he restrained himself. The lock of hair fell back into place when she bent her head to look him in the eye, her own scarlet gaze narrowed. “However, if I’m being forced to sleep… so are you.” she compromised, though her eyes said there would be no argument. The corner of his mouth twisted up into a tiny, barley-there smile. That was the Autumn he knew. The Autumn he loved. With her, fair was fair, and there was no other way around it.

He nodded. “Okay.” he whispered, his voice husky. He swallowed, not having realized that all the while she’d been contemplating a lump had been growing in his throat. The girl turned and peered through the door of the tent before stepping out. Peter followed quietly. “Coast is clear.” she declared. The half-breed took a deep breath, letting the chilled night air fill his lungs and seep into his veins, allowing it to spread a soothing coolness throughout his body from his chest to his fingertips to his toes. It cleared his head. He looked up, gazing at the star-filled sky. There wasn’t a cloud in sight to mar the beautiful evening. He hadn’t noticed the chilling calmness of the night until then. Before, it had been restless, and then it had been tense. For a minute, there had been an electricity in the air. But now it was gone, and all that was left in its place was an undeniable, indescribable, calming sadness.

Peter glanced down at Autumn, who seemed to be mulling over something. She was biting her bottom lip. Or chewing it, to be more exact. The boy couldn’t help smiling to himself. He’d never imagine Autumn to be the kind of girl to do that sort of thing. She turned to look at him thoughtfully, her bottom lip still between her teeth. A sad feeling crept into his heart. After tonight, he’d probably never see her again. He’d never watch her chew her lip pensively; he never hear her talk him into helping her train before she was ready; he’d never see her look at him this way again. He’d never feel this way about anyone again. His face darkened. Never again.

but your neither friend nor foe
though i can’t seem to let you go
the one thing that i still know
is that you’re keeping me down

Suddenly, she smiled. There was a mischievous glint in her eye as she said, “I’ll race you on three.” She didn’t give him the chance to agree. Before he knew it, she had counted to two and taken off, the dirty little cheater that she was. He stared after her for a few seconds, not fully comprehending what had just happened. When it caught up to him, he took off after her, following her peals of laughter. He got closer with each passing second. Each stride of his matched two of hers, and he was closing the distance between them swiftly. A few seconds later, he caught up to her, slowing his pace to run a few steps behind her. She was laughing, but she sounded sad. He wanted to know why. He also wanted to comfort her, or to cheer her up. He looked after her thoughtfully. When he couldn’t stand it anymore, he closed the little distance left between them, choosing to run beside her instead of in front or behind.

Peter would do all that he could for her tonight. He would enjoy his last few hours with her, and then he would leave, because he had to. He would leave because there was no other way. He would say goodbye to Autumn tonight. For good.

set me free; leave me be
i don’t wanna fall another moment into your gravity
here i am and i stand so tall
just the way i’m supposed to be
but you’re on to me
and all over me

[x.Wolf.x]

Lyrics used: Next to Me: Jet Black Stare

knowing that you're out there,
Knowing you're at home,
and I'm here alone

Why?! Why did this have to be so damned hard?! It wasn't fair. At that moment, Autumn wanted nothing more than to stamp her feet, cross her arms over her chest and pout until the world was right again. She wanted to throw a tantrum until she had her way. She wanted....wanted what exactly? It was obvious to her at that moment that a large part of her wanted to stay with Peter, to hide away from this war until it was nothing but a bad memory scarring the lands and it's people. They could hide until this was all just a bad memory, until no one brought it up in conversation anymore.

feels like forever
forever and a day
you feel so far away
I know you're thinkin' it's time to let me go
and there's just one more thing
you need to know

However, what she wanted was irrelevant in this situation. She made a promise. A promise to those men she left back at camp and to their families. She trained for months with these men, had gone through hell and back in order to gain their respect. She had promised their families that she'd do anything in her power to bring them back in one piece. If she left now, they'd be forced onto another battalion. The only other battalion that was headed in the same direction was one lead by the one person who had posed a threat to her position in the military. The man that would take over was ruthless and could care less if any of the men he lead into battle would make it home again or not. He would readily sacrifice them to the cause if it meant that he'd get the title of 'hero' to the people. They'd all be slaughtered in the name of a false hero. She couldn't allow that...not while she was still breathing. Besides that, the military she's enlisted in doesn't handle deserters very well. They would hunt her down and kill her on the grounds that she was a traitor to the cause...and if they found her they'd find Peter. She would just end up in killing them both.

dont say were runnin' out of time
dont say i'm never on your mind
dont say you're givin' up on me
and I need right now
so I can make you see
somehow this is meant to be
tonight I want you next to me
I want you next to me

She took a calming breath- something made nearly impossible by the fact that she was still running and the battle of emotions battering her. She knew the moment Peter caught up to her, feeling his presence rather than actually seeing him. She had to grin, knowing that he was actually holding back on her. He could easily run laps around her and she knew it. Glancing over, she stuck her tongue out at him. "not fair, cheater" she accused jokingly. Refocusing her attention back on the race...on the night. It was then that her guard slipped enough to allow her mother's favorite quote to slip through her mind. 'don't let the pain from your past or the fear of your future ruin the present for you.' She had nearly forgotten that quote. Forgotten her mother. Forgotten her past. But, not matter how far she ran or how hard she fought her past seemed to creep up on her. It was probably time she learn to accept that she'd never outrun it. It would seem that she'd have to learn to accept a lot tonight. And so, with those words in mind..she slowed down when the lights from the tavern came into view. Tonight, and tonight only she refused to think everything through before doing it.

I keep a picture in my pocket
reminding me of you
every night gets harder
but I know we'll make it through

Little did Autumn know how true that last statement would be. He hated this tavern. Hated any public place for that matter, but this mission was worth it. Pride sat in the far corner of the tavern. The lighting here much dimmer than the rest of the already dim tavern, with any lights focusing on the four pool tables. Cigarette smoke swirled through the air like a heavy fog, further masking his presence from the couple that would soon be entering the bar. Pride had been outside of the tent when Autumn suggested they stopped here, which is where he got his genius idea. His now violet eyes locked on the entrance of the tavern as a couple entered, though it wasn't the one he was searching for. The two of them (Autumn and Peter) obviously cared for each other, neither of them were willing to put anything on the table for fear of rejection. Pride would make sure that tonight would definitely be a night they could remember. With that thought, his hand slipped into his pocket and his fingers brushed past the small baggy that contained three white pills. A small grin crept across his features as he pulled his battered hat lower over his eyes and sank further into the shadows created players at the table.

He had no doubt that both Autumn and Peter would be strong enough to fight through some of the effects of the pills...after all one was trained to fight through poison and the other was half vampire. Sure, they'd remember tidbits of the night...but the pills would also loosen their tongues and hopefully...if all goes well...would make them forget to guard everything they do. If only just for tonight. Sure, they'd probably hunt him down and kill him later...but it would be worth it. The suffering they're facing now is caused by themselves. He would dump the pills in their drinks, then stand guard in case any of their enemies had caught wind of them being here tonight. Pride was crazy, not insane. He knew both of them had enemies. He knew that drugging them tonight could put them in danger. Grinning again, he hid is features once more when the door opened once again and Autumn entered the tavern. He'd merely brush past them, a drunk commoner who was on his way out....drop the pills in and then stand guard outside.

I know you're thinkin its time to let me go
and there's just one more thing
you need to know

She had been silent for the remainder of their walk. Reaching the door, she paused before opening the heavy battered door leading into the tavern. For a place that was located literally in the middle of no where, it was quite busy especially for this time of night. Voices some raised with the affect of alcohol, others hushed sounded on the other side of the door. Her nose wrinkled at the heavy smell of cigarettes and booze assaulted her senses. As she stepped inside, her gaze slowly slid over the small crowd gathered in various places inside by instinct alone. Though there were a few in the crowd who looked like they could stand their own in a fight, none of them looked to much of a threat to her. Even with that note, she refused to underestimate anyone. Last time she did that, she ended up in the hospital. And then she heard it......

don't say were runnin' out of time
don't say im never on your mind
don't say you're givin' up on me
and I need right now
so I can make you see
somehow this is meant to be
tonight I want you next to me
I want you next to me

In the opposite side of the tavern than the pool tables, a small stage was set up. Without the chairs set around it or the lights focusing on it, it wouldn't stand out at all. The floor was raised there by only a few inches, nothing too obvious. On the small stage, a large man, obviously drunk, was belting out the lyrics to Journey's Don't Stop Believing. Cringing, she turned away from there and took a booth by the door. She had already made note that the only way in and out of the tavern was the door they entered in. There were three windows, all of which were covered by heavy black curtains and neon signs. Not even the most trained sniper could get past the signs, let alone the curtains. Satisfied she took the seat that faced the door. It would appear, that even with the best company....old habits died hard.

time away from you
can't stand this (no longer)
I did this for you
my heart just grows stronger
spendin' every night alone
and i'm missin' you (you)
if you could only see
what you mean to me

[/center]
Heaving a sigh, she glanced around again. It was a mere matter of seconds before a tired looking waitress stopped at their table. "drinks?" she questioned, her gaze skimming Autumn and lingering on Peter. "water for me please." The waitress gave the barest of nods before turning her full attention back on Peter. "and for you, handsome?". Autumn had to duck her head to hide her grin.

and I say

don't say were runnin' out of time
don't say im never on your mind
don't say you're givin' up on me
and I need right now
so I can make you see
somehow this is meant to be
tonight I want you next to me
I want you next to me

[/blockquote][/sub]